Hey cinnabon bun,
How are things going this winter? Cold, isn’t it? I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Early spring is around the corner. I have lots of Yorkshire tea stocked up. Best tea in the world, imo. This is the first winter I have seen in 4 years! My ancestors were a year-round sun people. I am very lucky that I had a chance to experience the beautiful East African coast for a few years and I will treasure it.
This evening, I tried Ottoman sherbet for the first time today. Have you ever tried it? It had the most delightful flowery rose petals notes, saffron, tamarind, clove and hibiscus too. Delicious. In the past, whole palace department existed just to make it. Now, you can find it widely available during Ramadan season.
Also, I was gifted some Mediterranean olive oil soap using 100% pure Aegean olive oil. These are amazing and made by a local company. Adding this to my skincare with Nila powder, kojic acid and The Purest salicylic acid transformed my skin.
The world’s a scary place right now. Of course, no one likes uncertainty. We have left the dock and for some time, we will be looking at the dark, wine-colored waves of the sea.
It is a spiritual war as much as it is physical. The world is going through a dark night of the soul. It is the stripping of illusions, the breaking of old containers, removing the fake to see what is real. It requires sitting in the dark and with that comes patience and internal authority.
Being from Istanbul, the first image of the Black Madonna of Częstochowa was brought here by St. Helena, the mother of Constantine. She spent five hundred years on the Bosphorus before traveling west. She carries two sword scars on her right cheek from an attack in 1430. The restorers kept them. She bears her wounds. She endures.
It is incredible that this image of the Holy Mother Mary, the Dark Mother, is so comforting in such times. Black Madonna represents the Earth and the Depths. To me, she is Mother Mary, she is Sophia, the Great Wisdom. She is the “Womb of the Night.” She teaches that the dark periods of our lives—depression, loss, “the void”—are not empty. They are fertile.
There has been serious collective damage to humanity when it removed the Mother. What it did was cause a collective mother wound. It causes internal chaos, disconnection from yourself. It instills ideas of never being good enough, truly loved and truly seen. This world is a perfect example of the imbalance we are seeing this way.
Still, no matter our choices, the Mother is still here, ready to open her arms because we were always loved, no matter what we did.
By surrendering to the grief and trusting the darkness of the process, she can heal us. Our Lady of Sorrows does not remove the trial. She stands with you inside it. She is available to anyone and everyone in the world as the universal cosmic mother, Mother of All.
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In other news to update you on, I started my Youtube channel and posted a short about slow winters in Istanbul. I did not expect to love video editing as much as I have. I invite you to link and subscribe.
The slow winters in Istanbul are warm with spurts of cold and snow. Sometimes, the sun comes out and greets us when we need her most.
The seasons are mild and not too intense. The spring blooms fully. The autumn is crispy and cool. The summer is fully expansive, colorful and bright.
It is very easy to sit at the old port dockings, read poetry and believe that the old world still exists. In the same view, you will see a centuries-old mosque next to a dilapidated tram.
It is a city of contradictions, intensity and history. It is one of the most ancient places in the world. It is the very place that a mercurial, sometimes manic, deeply emotive aesthete, writer and polymath like me can live and grow to appreciate.
I certainly did not like it when I moved here. It felt like a very strict headmaster. So many people, so many judgements, so many layers. I felt like I was drowning. But as I expanded my soul, the city seemed to grow with me. It was a mirror and started to only love me back when I loved myself.
There is very little this city has not seen – history, war, expansion, detractions. At its very core, it is a liminal space. It is a waiting area. Interestingly enough, The Black Madonna / Holy Mother Mary represent the liminal space and helping us through that transition. The beautiful thing about this place will not let you go easily. In fact, you will find yourself returning again and again, continuing the rebirth cycle many times over.
That is all for now! Stay safe and warm wherever you are.
XOXO,
SOFI
