Oh god.
Yes. It is one of those days.
I call it the mid-day philosophy slump.
Actually, who am I kidding – everyday seems like a staring into the abyss of life and trying to make sense it of through some form of philosophical pondering.
Then the ADHD kicks in and its all a mess really.
I sort myself out by going to the ocean or any body of water.
It’s the only thing that resets me to my normal factory settings(slightly mercurial; frightfully quiet).
So, what is up today?
Well, I realized I have always been in some sort of striving, climbing, trying, proving stage my whole life.
As a very long, arduous and quite frankly – very painful – dark night of the soul after my near-death experience, I escaped the matrix only to realize there is nothing to achieve.
Yup!
My hyper-productivity was a feature, a bug, of the system designed to make me constantly consuming.
Real production is a state of being.
You just are. You are going through life – learning, reading, observing, making – with no real destination.
I have had more success with focused awareness and rest bringing me opportunities and luck than hardwork has ever given me.
A lazy, slow afternoon where I can daydream has brought me countless fruitful ideas.
What does that mean?
The JOURNEY is the Destination.
The consumer-track version of life, the one we are all primed for, sets you up to be a runner for life. Constant running and then you get so exhausted that you can’t help but plop yourself on your couch, and watch some AI slop that they, no doubt, also socially engineered to keep you addicted to.
So, you scroll, until your thumbs hurt and go to bed.
Real life – the one full of Otium – is about creativity, real productivity, a sort of dignified leisure. A beautiful level of exploration where you just are. You explore your intellectual, creative and spiritual life because of who you become at the end of it.
You aren’t rushing to get through the forest to tell everyone.
You can very well stay in the forest for years admiring the trees. You might even decide to live there.
Once you healed your generatonal trauma like I did, you quickly realize that everything just IS.
There is no grand moment.
No magical end.
No big reward.
Life itself is the reward.
And there is no where but here.
Talk soon,
XOXO SOFIYA
